writer's block

School's been out for about a week now.  And with that comes a lot of emotions that have been cast aside so that I would "make it".

PTL, I did "make it".

There are so many thoughts swirling in my head right now that I can't quite make sense of them.  

And as for sharing them in this forum ... well ... I'm still debating if it's appropriate.  I've learned so much about myself, about others and about life in a different country and I would love to blog about them. In fact, there are probably about 7 or 8 blog entries that I've started and at least one more germinating in my brain. And yet, for one reason or another, I wonder whether the words I write could come back to bite me somehow.

How is that possible you ask?  Well ... let's see if I can explain it ...

It's so easy to be negative all the time.  And while that is true of my feelings at times - more often than not these days - that's not the complete picture, and I definitely don't want my blog to be all negative.

Truth is, life isn't all happy. At the moment. The OTHER truth is, this is a season in my life, and it will not be like this forever. And in some ways, the point of this blog is to find the good in the world.

It's also very easy to "bleed" online.  I admit, things have been difficult.  But the whole world doesn't need to know every sordid detail.  There's something to be said for vulnerability, yes.  But there's also something to be said for restraint.

And I never really know who's reading what I write.  In the midst of all the negativity, there have been some very share-worthy stories of interactions with locals here, both inside and outside of the school. And I'd love to tell them.  But in a public forum like this ... great care must be taken, if I share at all.

So bear with me as I think, as I journal and reflect on what has undoubtedly been the most challenging year of my life.

And now, it's naptime.

OOOO wait. Here's something fun.  The sun rises at about 4 in the morning these days.  

That's not the fun part.

For the past little while, I've been wearing an almost too-tight headband over my eyes because I lost the blinders I used to have.

Again, not the fun part.

Today, I got a blackout curtain. And I kid you not, it's as dark as night in my room when all the lights are off.

Now THAT was the fun part. And I'm ridiculously excited.

But ... it's bittersweet for two reasons: 1) the curtain's previous owners are possibly one of the most hospitable, friendliest and most helpful couples I have ever met. And they are moving back to the States. Sad, sad day.  2) Ayi (our helper) comes in at 7 AM tomorrow.  The second she puts her key in the lock to open the door, I will be awake.

So in preparation for the second inevitability ... I once again declare that it's naptime.