Dad's day

I didn't buy a Father's Day gift this year.  And I never will again.

When I was a kid, Dad was a tough one to buy for, and I can't quite figure out why.  Maybe it's because I could never find anything that was worth giving him within my price range.

Maybe it's because I'm not a guy.

Maybe it's because he didn't show his interests all that clearly when I was younger. Or I wasn't smart enough to figure them out.

So he got lots of chocolate bars.

As my siblings and I got older, his passions became clearer. He was fascinated with airplanes. And a devoted Habs fan (Les Habitants - a nickname for the Montreal Canadiens. It's a hockey team).  So his gifts reflected these interests; highlights include a picture of Maurice "The Rocket" Richard, a Canadiens sweatshirt, Pearl Harbor, and lots of seasons of M*A*S*H*.

The last gift my siblings and I got my dad was a retirement gift.  It was called a "Try That" experience. A two hour flight - from Barrie to Niagara Falls and back - where he'd actually get to fly the plane. 

I'll never forget the look on his face when he realized what it was. Wide-eyed, he bit his lower lip, as if to hide the smile that somehow escaped anyway.  I think he was trying to contain his excitement.  Us kids, we were thrilled that he liked it so much.

We waited for the nice weather to arrive for him to "Try That", but by then his health had deteriorated, and it was too big a risk to put him in the cockpit.  So he never got to use it.

(Note: but, seeing that we don't want the voucher to go unused, Mom's going to go next weekend!  I'm SO EXCITED for her!)

I had two people tell me that they were thinking of me, that today was probably going to be hard. Until they mentioned it, I hadn't really given it much thought. And now that I think about it ...  it's not an exceptionally tough day.  Probably for the same reasons that some aspects of the grieving process have been easier for me; I'm far, far away from home. I'm not seeing things and places where Dad was a lot. Skype hasn't even been working properly at my mom's place (almost wrote "my parents' place" there ... tough habit to break), so it's not like I see my mom without my Dad watching/listening/daydreaming in the background (I'm not sure what he was doing when he wasn't "there").

Something tells me that flying home (exactly two weeks from today!) and spending time there will be tough. Probably tougher than most things I've experienced thus far.

But it has to happen sometime.  And I know that, though while it'll be tough, it'll also be good. 

And I am looking forward to being back, even for a little while.

In the meantime, Happy Father's Day to any and all dads (or future dads!) who might be reading this.  This is your kids' day to lavish their love upon you in whatever way they know how.  And everyone knows that kids do need to be reminded of the importance of showing love to their parents, so it's a good thing there's a day for that. But there are still 364 days (or 365, if it's a leap year) where you get to lavish love on them in whatever way you know how (unfortunately, they are not called "kids' days" to help you out!).  I encourage you to do just that, because, take it from me, that's what they'll remember most about you long after you're gone.

And you never know when that will be.