cold turkey

Okay, I'm admitting it.

 

I've looked at pictures of people I hardly know.

I've ogled that cute guy and done my fair share of "facebook stalking." That's where you (or I) look to see where - and what - this person has posted, whether they seem to be dating/expressing interest in someone - and if that someone is you - who their friends are, etc...

I've spent way too much time coming up with witty status updates that people will "like" and comment on. I like the attention.

I've at times felt a pang of jealousy when so-and-so and whats-her-name spent time together and didn't include me ...

I've sat there and watched the live ticker tell me who is online and who isn't, almost waiting for someone to message me.

I've felt happy when two people are "in a relationship", "engaged", or "married" on facebook ... but also ... jealous? A little left out? 

It doesn't help when those people get all cutesie and sickeningly sweet, posting love notes on each others' walls.  All. The Time.

I've spent countless hours trying to come up with clever captions for pictures I or friends have posted. Again, to get as many "likes" and comments as possible.

I've gotten angry when I see what people have been up to without me/when they could have been responding to an email I sent/when .... you fill in the blanks.

In short, I've wasted far too much of my time "facebooking."And this, in a country where I can't directly access the site (Ironic, isn't it?).  And not to mention when I have much better things to do with my time.  Like work. Or talk to people face to face.

Please don't misunderstand me:  facebook is a wonderful website for ex-pats like me.  It provides a simple means for everyone to keep up with ... well, everyone using various forms of media. You can send private messages, write public ones and post pictures, all using one forum. There's also the "chat" option, which I don't use for a few reasons, but it is a possibility.

One website. Many features.  Excellent.  

...Until you get carried away. Obsessed. Addicted. Zoning out in front of the computer when there are better things to do is a sure sign of this. So is checking every few minutes for something to distract you. Truth be told, this is kind of where I'm at. The foolishness of the emotions that facebook posts can cause to well up within me is ridiculous. And considering how busy things are getting as the school year winds down (oh, the irony of it all!), I just can't be doing this anymore.

So drastic action must be taken.  

Therefore, I now declare that, starting now (May 16) until the end of school (June 7), I will not be on facebook. 

Actually, I have two articles I need to read. One is on teaching, and the other on grief.  As soon as they are done ... I'm out. Honest.

Anyone who discovers that I have been on the forbidden site between now and then can either ...

a) give me a mullet OR

b) tie me up and beat me with organic carrots.

The other part of the punishment is that I will have to pay for these myself.

*gulp*  

See you on the other side...