"This rocks!" or "The advantages of being single"

My last blog post was on the drawbacks of being single.  So in the interest of presenting a balanced perspective with regards to the issue of singleness, I decided to explore the advantages of being single.
But alas, all I was really able to come up with on my own was “If I were married, I don’t think I would have been able to travel as much or go back to school to get a master’s degree.” and "The mistakes I make only affect me!"

I think everyone can agree that, while those are both good things, they don’t exactly make a “list”.

So I turned the question over to friends, guys and gals, to see what they could come up with.  I was pleasantly surprised at the response, and encouraged that many took time to reflect on the good things that flying solo can bring. One person even said she appreciated the opportunity to reflect on this.  And I personally appreciated the perspective that others brought to this issue.
 

So without further ado, here’s what they came up with … 

Life Decisions

• I can quit my job and not have to worry about providing for family.
• I get to travel without asking anyone if I can.
• I get to dream about my future without being too restricted.

Money

• I get to spend money on my friends, my family and myself. I can say yes to sponsor kids, or people who go on missions trips.  There is no need to consult a second person who might have a different way of spending than I do; hence there are no conflicts to work out in the area of finance.
• You never fight with yourself about money.
• I can spend money on meaningless things like video games and not feel bad about it
• I save a lot of money on dates I never go on.

Food

• My whims don't have to revolve around someone else. For example I had Schwarma for breakfast, sushi for lunch and I'm going to have a smoothie and rice puffs or popcorn for dinner. And that is legitimately my day!
• It's okay if I get home at 9 for dinner or midnight just because.
• No one cares if I eat sardines or peanut butter for dinner.

Cleanliness

• I can wear ratty and falling apart undies.
• I don’t need to shave. Gorilla legs and mountain men are perfectly acceptable!
• I can leave knitting around my apartment and no one cares.
• I can leave my home messy because no one I am trying to impress will be coming over.
• I don't need to dress to impress (unless I am looking)
• I don't need to work out to keep someone interested, because no one is!

Time management

• I can have a lazy Saturday or Sunday and am guaranteed no criticism.
• I can spend hours surfing the internet finding a perfect recipe, I can spontaneously say yes to hang out invites. I can sleep in on Saturday until 10 and decide to go swimming at 1, and then decide not to go at 1:05.
• I never have to check to see "if we have something on" during any particular evening or weekend
• Planning for the holidays is easier. There is no debating which family I am spending them with.
• If I want a day to myself, I can and I don't need to explain myself to anyone
• I am free to be spontaneous with my friends
• I don't have to let anyone know where I am 24/7 like I had to do with my parents when I was a kid.

“Me” Time

• I can come home and ignore the world if necessary.
• I don't have to make all these new friends with my significant other's friends.
• I am not chained to my phone texting all day.
• I am not accountable for my actions (I can do whatever I want without having to report it to someone).
• I can go clubbing and have fun without feeling guilty!
• I can be moody without affecting someone else.
• I can watch Downton Abbey with no sarcastic comments - except from the Dowager.

Sleeping

• I can take up the whole bed.
• I can continue whatever sleeping patterns necessary.
• There's no staying up late with your significant other on the phone. I get more sleep.
• No one is setting an early alarm and waking me up.
• There is no one snoring or talking or giggling in their sleep next to me.

Personal Growth

• I can use this time to be comfortable with myself, by myself. I can discover what I would like to work towards (becoming fit, getting more education, getting that big job by working long hours or moving across the world, becoming closer to God).  I can also realize what works for me as a person, and what makes me me.
• I have the opportunity to pursue, follow, or give that lifelong dream a shot.  Travelling, becoming a rock star, skydiving, etc. With a partner I may not be able to afford (time or money) to follow my life-long dreams due to more important things in life.

Relationships

• Singleness means you can focus on your relationship with God more intently.
• Singleness means that, at church, you get to fellowship until whatever time you want with the people you run into. It means spontaneous lunch after the service with a person or group of people. It also means more time for serving whether it’s at church on Sunday morning or ministering to the needs of Christians around you. Since I’m responsible for my own schedule, when needs arise, it’s much easier for me to say yes (or no), no need to double check with the schedule of my spouse/kids.
• Being single has allowed me to spend time and energy on my family in their time of need, and invest in long-distance/local friendships that would not be possible when in a committed relationship.
• I can invest in my other relationship like friends, siblings, and family. I can say yes to a coffee/tea date with whomever. I can spend hours talking to my girls about dresses, nail polish or cute guys over ice cream or tea depends on the weather. Not that you can’t do this as a married person, but time will be limited as you’ll have another person that you need to share your time, money and relationship with.
• What about responsibility? Well, when you’re married, you’re responsible for the spiritual growth of your spouse and your kids. When I’m single, I can choose to help others in their spiritual growth like having deep conversation over lunch/dinner with a friend or keeping them accountable in their spiritual walk. When you’re married, it’s hard to do this other than to your spouse and kids.
• I can pray for people outside of my family. Not that married people can’t pray for people outside of their family, but their time and focus is certainly limited. The needs of their spouse and kids are always in the forefront. I don’t have a spouse or kid to pray for, so I think I’m more able to notice the need of others and pray for them.

Interesting perspective, no? Got anything to add?  Please, let me know!

Coming up next: a married woman's perspective on her single years ...